Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Shopping spree



I really am quite a sensible shopper. I don't buy heaps of clothes that I never wear - although I might leave a new top in the wardrobe for a season or two before I let myself put in on, but that's a different story altogether - and I manage to prepare the majority of the food I buy before it gets (too) mouldy. But get me into Lidl and all my level headedness goes straight out the window.

So I don't allow myself too many trips to the discount supermarket, but since my day today is filled driving the children to-and-fro swimming pools, friend's houses and sport clubs, Lidl really is on my way. I don't actually pass Lidl, unless I make a little detour, but on the basis that the children won't notice - I could drive them to France as long as I make sure the batteries of their i-pods are full - I decide to go for it.
As soon as I am in the door I find myself stocking up on fake mars bars, obscure looking chocolates and bags full of garish sweets that I would normally never buy. It is the distinct eastern european feel of the packaging that I find completely irresistable.
I don't really care for the vegetables, or the meat, but I do like the baffling selection of joghurts and joghurty drinks. I take one of each flavour, so about thirty or so little joghurts in total. On to the tomato juice, a glass of which is considered a very healthy breakfast by  husband W, and the tinned goulash soup, that sustains us on many an empty fridge day.
The food shopping over, I can finally turn my attention to the non-food isles. This weeks offering doesn't disappoint. There is a wondrous high pressure cleaning device for the kitchen and bathroom ('tough on limescale'), a wide selection of foldable plastic storage boxes of which you can never get enough, an 'easy baby food heater' and a cyclist's mankini that would come in very handy one day for some theme party. And then there is the laminator again.
I bought the exact same one four months ago and still haven't taken the thing out of it's box. Because, seriously what could I possibly want to laminate? But since the laminating pouches are on sale now, I throw a few packets into my trolley, together with some permanent markers and a packet of miracle
fertilizer that will transform my lawn overnight!
The products at Lidl are, without exception - dirt cheap. Just looking at the price creates an instant need. You would be insane not to buy a paper shredder for fifteen quid, or a wet suit for even less. You might never get the chance again and on the off chance that one day you might actually need a shredder, or want to take up body boarding, you'd better buy now.
I come home, feeling really pleased with the laminating sheets and permanent markers, which I hastily throw into the nearest cupboard so none of my family members will get a chance to comment. Because I know all too well that after the flush of excitement dies down, I too will struggle with the fact that the permanent markers and laminating pouches landed right next to my last Lidl visit's yield (a massive box of fine liners, thirty rolls of sellotape, a staple remover, an electric pencil sharpener and a stack of note pads). Not to mention the unopened paper shredder that I know is also lurking in there somewhere.
If husband W., the children and I ever get stuck in our house due to excessive snow, a heat wave, or other global warming related freak weather events that are no doubt going to be all too common in the future, we at least will be able to take countless notes, feed the useless ones to our shredder and laminate stuff worth keeping. Scientists the world over, that will no doubt come to rely heavily upon our data, will thank me for my shrewd shopping. Stocking up on office supplies instead of tins of baked beans.